Evangelism requires gentleness. But sometimes it needs shrewdness. Often, the subtext must read, “A gentle answer turns away wrath” (Proverbs 15:1). At other times, we need to remember, “Answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes” (Proverbs 26:5).
Wouldn’t it be great to have an app that told us when to play the gentleness card and when to employ the shrewdness tactic. Our phones could buzz and prompt us with the exact right thing to say or the perfect question to ask, based on the inner attitudes of the non-Christian we’re encountering. A better solution involves biblically-informed, socially-sensitive, Spirit-empowered discernment.
We need to sense when people are asking a sincere question and when they’re launching an attack. Tone of voice, facial expression, and sarcasm behind their words should help us know how to respond. To offer a sincere answer to an insincere question (no matter how Biblically accurate or logically sound that answer may be) could leave our inquirer “wise in his own eyes.”
This is the fourth in a series of suggestions for pre-evangelism – things to say before we start presenting the gospel. Sometimes we need to help people admit their insincerity so we can have a sincere conversation. We need to ask them to remove their mask so we can have an honest face-to-face conversation.
Perhaps an example will help. On numerous occasions I’ve been asked questions about Christians’ lack of unity. “Why are there so many denominations?” or “Why can’t you Christians get your own house in order?” I’ve heard some variety of this question from Muslim and Jewish people as well as atheists. I suspect that behind their question lies more of an attack than a curiosity about church history and the formulation of various denominations.
For a long time, I provided answers to questions they really weren’t asking. I’d try to explain how the differences between denominations were relatively small compared to all the things Christians agree upon. I’d share a bit about history and how the divisions evolved over time. I’d try to clarify the differences between major doctrines and minor ones. The time gap between the beginning of my lectures and the glazing over of my inquirers’ eyes shrank rather dramatically.
A better tactic is to question their motives and see if they’re really hiding behind a mask. I’ve had to work on my own tone of voice and facial expression to make sure I wasn’t behaving like a fool – as Proverbs 26:4 warns me against. “Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you will be like him yourself”).
After they’ve said something like, “Let me just ask you one question. Why are Christians so divided?” here are some ways I’ve tried to request a mask removal:
“Is that a real question?”
or
“Do you really have just one question?”
or
“I sense that you might not be sincere right now.”
or
“Do you really want to talk about this or are you just wanting to insult me?”
I do realize this can sound rather harsh. I also understand that many people have a strong reluctance to ever saying anything like this. But I also remember that Jesus modeled this kind of exposing of insincere motives. (See Matthew 21:23-27).
I can tell you, on some occasions, once their mask is removed and insincerity is admitted, a productive conversation has evolved. For some people, the admission of the sin of unkindness in this specific instance paves the way for admission of many other sins – the kinds that can be forgiven by the atonement made on a cross.
